Monday, November 28, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
With all the excitement surrounding the Phillies move to sign Ty Wiggington, one might be apt to look past the obvious: this guy looks just like me. Well, maybe not. But a friend told me I should get a TW jersey, since I resemble him. Maybe I can finally get that MLB at-bat I always dreamed of.
Surely, there is room on this roster for anther aging utility man with questionable talent. As I peruse TW’s career stats, I can’t help but think that $4 million is a bit much for a career utility guy. He has popped over 20 homers three times (24, 23 and 22 in ’06, ’08 and ’10) but strikes out a good bit, about once every five ABs.
Assuming the aging Phillies can’t stay healthy again in 2012, Wigginton will likely see a good bit of PT. No way Polanco plays more than 130 games at third. We all know #6 is out for at least half the season, no matter what crap we’re fed. Give TW a dozen or more games at first. Chances are he’ll play some left as well. In all, we’re probably looking at about 80 to 100 games played, anywhere from 250-350 at bats. With those numbers, I can definitely slide in there for one AB.
Let’s just think about this a minute. Wigginton is 34; I’m 37. Raul was 86 this past year, so I’m still young enough. And the truth is, this Phillies team swings wildly. In contrast, my first season in senior ball, I led the team in both walks (15) and strikeouts (12, 8 of which were “looking”). I will wear the pitcher out. Hell, I might even foul a few off, just for fun. I’ll watch a couple tapes of Boggs or Gwynn, I’ll be all set.
All I need is a roll of duct tape and a distraction. Considering the boozing that takes place at a DPF tailgate, one of my colleagues can more than easily be convinced to sprint onto the field. While security tazes my pal, I'll rush into the dugout, crack TW over the head like I'm back in East Falls, and tape him up in the tunnel.
With him out ofthe way and the game on the line, I'll jump to action when Uncle Charlie turns to me and says, "Wig-uh-wig-uh-wiggingto-uh-n, get out therr."
Before anyone realizes that I’m not Wiggington, I’ll be jogging down to first base. Of course, I’ll promptly get picked off while picking my nose a foot and a half off the base. As long as it ain't Aroldis Chapman, I'll crowd the plate, take my hacks, and ultimately watch ball four breeze on by.
I'll likely join my drunken DPFer in the paddy wagon shortly thereafter. But hey, it'll all be worth it.
Welcome to Philly, Ty. Dreams really do come true. When’s that jersey gonna be ready?
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Impact for the Phils? Hopefully non-existent. Don't want another "I didn't know what the kid at the GNC/Vitamin Shoppe was selling me" type of thing (I'm looking at you J.C. Romero).
Friday, November 18, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Here’s my question: Is this realignment plan bold enough? Should we do away with Divisions and just have the top-5 from the NL and AL make the playoffs? What about expanding by two teams – one in each League?
Monday, November 14, 2011
Well I’m not that elegant. [Sheepish giggle, hair flip.] But I do enjoy a chic scarf and a mimosa from time to time. I know. Who the hell do I think I am? Trying to hang out with you guys, bah!
- In regards to levels of awesomeness, Dutch’s mullet was second only to McBride’s afro.
- It is pretty freaking amazing for a pitcher to hit a homer EVER, let alone in the World Series, but more importantly it takes a real man to accentuate a pair of stocky calves with a nice stirrup sock.
- It is 100% appropriate to change the channel during a Flyers Stanley Cup game when something beautiful and perfect is happening on another channel.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
We had the chance to sit down with Pat the Bat this Sunday morning at The Fountain Restaurant at One Logan Square in Downtown Philly for breakfast. Pat ordered the 'Taste of Philadelphia" off of the menu, a mix of peppers, eggs, scrapple, pork roll, and cream chipped beef. Pat has recently had to announce that he may have played his last MLB game due to recurrent foot issues. Burrell has a soft spot for Philly and agreed to answer and dispel a few of the legends of the former Mayor of Philadelphia Nightlife.
So Pat, it was said that when you received your 2008 World Series ring that you cried and that you stated the parade was the happiest day of your life. Could you comment on that?
Well I did cry and that's OK man. I was with the Phillies organization since the day I was drafted in 1998. There were some years where we downright stunk. I had my ups and downs with previous managers, went through prolonged slumps, and honestly did not dream in 2000 that in eight years we would be World Champions. The parade was just awesome man. Just a sea of red in the entire city.
What is the truth behind the 2003 incident at Shea Stadium when you supposedly snubbed manager Larry Bowa after coming into the dugout?
Larry was a hard-nosed no nonsense manager. His tactics with this particular team didn't work well. We just came off of getting swept by the Expos and dealing with getting berated by him on the plane ride from Montreal. We had a player's only meeting and decided to win in spite of Bo. It wasn't pre-meditated to snub him. Tyler Houston didn't tell me or make me snub him. I did it for me. Larry and I have talked about it later on and we are friends now.
I want to switch gears and talk about the lore of your escapades with the ladies of Philadelphia. I know you are single again, so hopefully you are willing to talk about this. It was reported that in the middle of the action, you stop, look into a girls eyes, and says, "Can you believe it?"
"Believe what?" she replies.
"Can you believe you're f*@%ing Pat Burrell?"
This was kinda my calling card. I am surprised it only came out once to be honest with you. I was single, in my 20s, making great money, and yea sure I was arrogant. I'm guessing the remainder of your questions are going to be about those types of stories huh? Well I'll get another one out of the way for you. After I was with a young lady at West Chester University, I did say to her, 'Go get a camera and take a picture of me. You just got F*@%ed by Pat Burrell. I REALLY loved talking about myself in the third person.
Pat, is there any chance you would return to Philadelphia and work for the Phillies in some aspect?
Well that depends. What is the nightlife scene like here now? The Machine is single again.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Years before any of us jogged alongside a parade float swigging flasks of whiskey, I tried to engage my dad in a conversation about what it must have been like to celebrate a World Series as a younger adult. This type of thing is right up Tom’s alley. The man will chronicle a five-pronged story ending with a twofold message without anyone really asking, so the fact that he was less than enthused was very odd.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Guess who's back? Nope, not Everlast. No idea what that dude's doing. But it ain't rapping. Perhaps Whitey Ford is still singing the blues. But you know what?
MF a Whitey Ford.
MF a Yankees.
MF a St. Louis Cardinal.
And MF Brian Wilson's Taco Bell commercials.
This is DPF, bitches. Drunk Phils Fans.
Yeah, they bailed out early. Yeah, they disappointed an entire region. And yeah, Ryan Howard actually swung at the last pitch. They're still our Phillies. Citizens Bank Park is still the best place to watch a baseball game. And we'll still get all jazzed up when pitchers and catchers report. That's just the way it is.
I'm glad to be back contributing to the coolest friggin' Phillies blog around. The shit that goes on here is just entertaining, plain and simple. Just to remind youse all, I don't even drink anymore. But I still yelled at the TV when Utley got gunned down by Molina. I still thought Howard was faking it. You don't have to down a fifth of Jameson to be a Phillies fan. Sure, it helps. But watching these guys in the late 90's and early 2000's made me bitter enough to expect the worst at all times.
My goal here will be to entertain first; perhaps educate second. After that, all bets are off. Feel free to ask questions, post comments, or--more importantly--pass the site along to a friend or two.
Thanks Chris, I'm happy to be here. Go Phils!
Saturday, November 5, 2011
I can remember the date. December 6, 2002. The first signing of Jim Thome. The date where the Phillies stopped being pretenders and started to make the move to contender. Thome had a HR every 13 at bats during his time with the Phillies. Now I don't expect him to do that at 41, but he his a great stop gap until Howard comes back in late May or early June. He is also a MAJOR upgrade as a lefty off the bench from that slug Ross G-LOAD.
The part of the signing that I think is not being talked about much, but I think Thome will step into the clubhouse leadership role. We really have no idea if Rollins is coming back. I suppose he was the de facto leader. The Phillies need a leader. They haven't had a true leader/captain since Dutch Daulton.
So that is the good..what do I see as the bad? Thome is a below average first basemen and will be counted on for two months to man the first sack for 2-4 times a week. I see him in a platoon situation with John Mayberry at first alternating depending on who the opposing the pitcher is. Defense is a huge part of the Phillies game and Thome will be a liability.
The other part of the bad is...the Phillies are already getting older. Bringing in a 41 year old player doesn't exactly get the Phils any younger. Then I think back to another 40 year old left handed bat off the bench, that with one swing, paid dividends and sent the Phillies on to the Series in 2008. In 2011 we threw slop up there as a lefty pinch hitter. I still think Thome strikes fear in opposing pitchers.
So as I look into the crystal ball, what do I expect? Thome will hit around .250 with 15 HRs and roughly 50 RBIs. He will bring leadership..and hopefully get the message of patience across to the Phillies batters. Hopefully around this time next year, we will be thinking back to November 4, 2011, and relishing how clutch of a signing Thome. I'd like to be relishing it with a backpack full of adult beverages on Broad Street during the parade.