Thursday, January 20, 2011
10 Bleeping Million Dollars?!?!?
76 feet high and 97 feet wide. Now I am not Copernicus, or Galileo, but why would you need a ridiculously huge scoreboard when you are actually at the game? We aren't talkin' 'bout a sports bar...We talking 'bout the actual game!!!! It is preposterously ostentatious and completely unnecessary. Let me put this into perspective a bit. For 10 Million dollars the Phillies could:
1. Buy 30% of the Pirates(But Why??)
2. Pay Robinson Cano and get rid of that stiff Utley
3. Carl Crawford is getting paid 10 million this year. I would much rather have him than a Sony Dick-tronics scoreboard
I figured my tickets went up for the addition of Cliff Lee, but I am beginning to suspect it was for this electronic monstrosity. I for one do not look at the scoreboard for anything. You know who does? Dumb broads and jackasses who merely go to the game because it is the cool place to be ("Oh, wow..Rad!!! Look at that sweet TV dude. Let's go pound Miller Lites with the Wriz down at the Schmitter stand"). You don't need a scoreboard to tell you the count, or what type of pitch is thrown, or what that ass pirate Chad Durbin does for fun in the offseason. Watch the game! Learn how to score your own game. Be lucky enough to sit near DB29 and just listen to a student of the game. If you want to have a popped collar, off to the side ( a la CC Sabathia) trucker hat or a short jean skirt and Ugg boots and talk about the new Surfjan Stevens song instead of if Cole should throw a 3-2 change-up with one out and a runner on third.....Stay the fuck home.
The Phillies did a great many things right, but I am salty about the scoreboard and the playoff ticket situation. I am pretty close to kicking the dog (and this bottle of Jameson) so I will sign off and leave you with this: If a person has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, and the person chooses to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base then I don't want these type of people coming to the Phillies games.